Friday, September 23, 2011

PSA For Women Of A Certain Age


I just finished an early morning conversation with a friend who just last month dropped off her youngest to begin his freshman year of college.  Here is an abridged transcript:

Me: Hey girl! What the hell you want this early?
She: I'm pregnant.
     {silence}
She: You there?
Me: Yeah.  You need a ride to the clinic? (same question I asked nineteen years ago)
She: I thought about it, but no.
Me: What did T (her husband) say?
She: He's sittin' on the side of the bed, crying.
Me: {Laughing} So what y'all gon' do?  Are you really up for this?
She: Not really, but my mom will help out. (basically the same thing she said nineteen years ago)
Me: She just moved to a senior community!
She: And she'll be operating a day care center out of her apartment.
Me: {Laughing} That's not a bad idea.  Have you told her?
She: No. She likes to laugh at the wrong sh*t and this ain't funny. (Pause) Will you tell her?
     {Silence}
Me: Yeah, give me her number.  {laughing} We gon' kee kee this morning!
She: Y'all can kiss my @ss!
Me: {Laughing} Call me later.
She: You call me!
Me: Girl, whatever! Bye.

Ladies, it ain't over till it's over.  Keep taking those pills or whatever it is you do until your estrogen level has plunged to undetectable and you have a goatee. BEWARE OF THE "OOPS" BABY!