SCOVILL HAMILTON BEACH BLENDER
AGE 33 BROOKLYN
Scovill Hamilton Beach Blender, 33, of the Flatbush Section of
Brooklyn, passed away suddenly Monday, September 23, while blending a pineapple
smoothie. Blender was purchased by Essie Snell in 1980 at an estate sale in
Rumson, New Jersey. Though new, in its original packaging, it is estimated that
Blender had sat on a pantry shelf since the mid-1970s. It had
blended in Long Branch (NJ) Boston and Landover (MD), before moving to Fat Girl
Snacks Headquarters in 2006.
Blender, blessed with longevity, was the power behind hundreds
of tasty beverages, whipping up margaritas, daiquiris, frappes and smoothies. Its work was known for saving parties that were going
nowhere fast. It will be dearly
missed.
It was preceded in death by G.E. Mixer in 2010 and Rival Crock-Pot, Sr in 2011. In addition to Mr. Snell and a half blended smoothie, Blender is
survived by Black & Decker Citrus Juicer, with whom it shared a cupboard, Presto
Options Multi-Cooker, Rival Crock-Pot, Jr, Cuisinart Hand/Stand Mixer of all of the upper left cabinet,
KitchenAid Artisan Mixer of the counter top and Fat Girl Snack lovers
everywhere.
The remains will lie in state on the kitchen counter while I run
over to Bobby’s Department Store on Church Avenue for a replacement. Interment
will immediately follow upon my return in the trash bin behind the building. In
lieu of flowers, please send donations or more small appliances to Rodney
Snell, 2608 Albemarle Rd, Apt D1, Brooklyn, NY 11226. Your gift will be richly rewarded with a frozen cocktail.
