I was just in the supermarket and stopped to admire a most beautiful
basket of abundantly ripe peaches – not rotting, but probably mere hours from
turning. I thought to myself ‘these
would make an amazing cobbler.’ In that
moment, one of my several inner people (I’m not sure which), slapped me hard
across the face and screamed in my ear.
“B*tch, pay
attention because you clearly don’t understand who we are right now. You just pissed all over a commitment,
negating months of discipline at that McDonald’s counter and bought a birthday
cake from Yesterday’s Baked Goods, which you wholeheartedly plan to polish off
in one serving. You clearly comprehend
you’re hungry, but these particular actions demonstrate you’re lazy and greedy
also. Get into it! Now stop fantasizing about these damn peaches,
take your lazy, greedy ass home and get fat.”
My inner people are so rude sometimes.
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